Cynthia Leitich Smith recently “tagged” me in a meme.  According to the assignment I need to list “15 weird, random things, facts, habits or goals” about myself.

My first thought was, “Fifteen?!  Even I’m not that weird and random.”  But after a couple of days of consideration I managed to put together some assorted tidbits.  It’s a sordid little portrait of me, but true.

Enjoy!

1.)  Most people are surprised to discover that I lived in Alaska for about half of my childhood.  My dad was stationed there with the army, so Anchorage was my home from age one through eight.  My sister and brother were born there.  They don’t remember much, but I have several vivid memories—especially of the outdoors.  The mountains, the tall pines, the snow, the daylight at night, the dusky dark in the mid-afternoons, the wild moose wandering into our yard to eat our garden …. I would love to go back someday and see it now, through grown-up eyes.

2.) I’m a huge Beatle fan.  One of the first songs I ever learned was “Yellow Submarine,” which I apparently loved to warble as a toddler while taking a bath.  And, in a way, the Beatles introduced me to my oldest, dearest pal, Christy (to whom How NOT to Be Popular is dedicated).  We were eleven years old and we were both hiding out in the restroom of our church because we didn’t want to go to class, but neither knew the other was there.  To help pass the time I started singing “I Should Have Known Better.”  As soon as I finished the fade out lyrics I heard a voice in the next stall say, “You like the Beatles, too?”  And that was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

 

3.)  I fiddle with my hair whenever I’m deep in thought.  I’m just twitchy that way.  I was born with bonus energy so if you ever see me completely still for several minutes, call EMS.  Seriously, I even squirm a bit in my sleep (poor Hubby).  The hair-thing has been a habit since … well, since I got hair.  Before that I apparently sucked my thumb and slid my fingers along the satin trim of my “blankie.”  I don’t even realize it when I’m doing it.  And when I’m in seriously deep thought, I’ll sometimes have both hands going at once.  We used to joke that I was trying to warm up my brain cells that way.  Growing up I’d be sitting on the couch reading or writing, hair all a-twirl, and my dad would walk by and say, “There’s Jenny, priming the pump.”

4.)  I’ve had several minor brushes with fame throughout my years, but one of the most memorable was meeting 60’s rock god Arthur Brown while I was in college.  Although he hadn't been popular since the time I was born—or maybe before—I was familiar with his “Crazy World of Arthur Brown” album and had seen footage of his wild stage act.  Then one day I noticed the skinny, shaggy-haired, crazy rocker himself in line right in front of me at Captain Quackenbush’s coffeehouse.  It was funny to see the self-styled “God of Hellfire” shuffle up to the counter and say in a soft Yorkshire accent, “Could I have a cup of Earl Gray tea, please?”  


 

5.)  I’m a pretty awesome doodler.  I can do geometric designs as well as girly stuff, like roses and hearts and kitty-cats.  As I mentioned in my #3 random fact, I’m a little fidgety.  So if I’m not twirling hair or tapping my foot, I’m usually illustrating empty margins, junk mail, or the blank spaces of the phone book cover.

6.)  I’m a rock hound.  Yeppers.  I was one of those kids who wandered about looking down all that time.  My Aunt Liz likes to talk about the day she took me out to the Alaskan countryside to find wildflowers for our landscaping.  I dug up two pretty flowers and then promptly killed them by tossing a bunch of beautiful rocks into the bucket.  I still do that when I go someplace new: find a few interesting rocks and bring them home as souvenirs.  And I’ve managed to put together a pretty cool collection, including fossils, geodes, arrowheads, etc.  (Flowers I’m still not too good with.)

7.)  I love Looney Tunes cartoons!  My sister and I would wake up early every Saturday to watch the “Bugs Bunny Road Runner Hour” and sometimes we would tape episodes to watch later.  Thus, I can quote entire cartoons.  I can even sing songs that Bugs sang in the classic eps.  Anyone remember which cartoon this one was in?  Bugs Bunny came to Martinique/ When he arrived he was pretty weak/ His knees looked like they were buckling/ His tribulations caused by a pen-gu-in/ They built a boat in which they could leave/ He hoped that fickle Fate had nothing up her sleeve/ If he should accomplish this daring thing/ A miracle to Martinique Bugsy bring!

8.)  I’m quite the bad punster—as regular readers of my blog will attest.  Not only that but I am an annoying jokester overall.  Whenever Hubby says, “I’m gonna jump in the shower,” I have to say, “Don’t do that.  You could slip and fall.”  Or when a pal mentions that she’s going to “run to the store,” I quip, “That’s a long way.  You should drive instead.”  And Hubby especially hates it when he tells me something like, “Remind me I need to turn in that movie,” and I immediately say, “You have to turn in that movie.”  He’s learning, though.  Now he phrases it this way: “Remind me LATER that I have to turn in that movie.”
 

9.)  In addition to groan-inducing witticisms, I also make lists.  Lots of them.  Usually I have several going at once.  I have my to-do list for the day, another for the week, and another for the things I want to accomplish by a certain date (say, before I start on a book or before someone comes to visit, etc.).  I also have lists of books I want to read, books I want the kids to read, movies I want to see, and stuff I want to find on sale for the house.  Then there’s my Overall Goals for the Immediate Future.  This list is semi-permanent and changes only when my priorities reshift or I (yes, really) accomplish something on it.  At present, it includes such objectives as coming up with a better housecleaning strategy to attempting to write a screenplay.

10.)  I once made the New York Times’ Bestseller List.  Swear to god honest.  On November 3, 2002, I made it to number ten on Children’s Paperbacks.  It was for a mass market prequel novel based on the TV show “Alias.”  The story was called Alias: Recruited and was published under my pen name Lynn Mason.  The show wasn’t a huge hit yet when I signed the contract to write the origin story, but my editor had a sixth sense about such things.  When the book was published, there was a huge signing and release party at a store in Los Angeles—except I wasn’t invited.  Only the main cast and the show’s creator, J.J. Abrams, were on hand to sign books.  I mean, I get it.  No one would have wanted my signature.  And the book’s success was due more to J.J.’s characters and Jennifer Garner’s pouty lips than my skills as a writer.  But it’s kind of like one of those philosophical riddles:  if you write a successful book but no one knows about it, does it still count?

11.)  I’m double-jointed.  Basically my limbs are hyper-flexible.  Since I’m not employed by a circus, this does not seem to help me in life that much.  But the meme said “random” and “weird” facts, so … there you go.

12.)  I was once almost involved in an international incident while driving with pals through East Germany (back before reunification).  And that’s all I’m going to say about it.  Sorry. 

13.)  As a child I had a make-believe pal named Archie.  I don’t really remember it.  Probably just your typical lonely first-born with an overactive imagination.  But when I think about it now, I’m mainly struck by the name.  Archie?  Where’d that come from?

14.)  The meme mentioned goals, so here’s one:  I used to want to be featured on either “Space Ghost Coast to Coast” or “The Simpson’s,” but lately my dream is to be interviewed by Terry Gross on “Fresh Air.”  I just love her program so much!  These days hosts of interview shows make it all about them.  Usually it’s a comedy act with only a few questions thrown in (typically rehearsed, and designed more for entertainment than actual information).  Terry, however, is old school.  It’s her show, but she completely focuses on her subject—and gets the most interesting nuggets out of them.  Whether it’s an author, politician, filmmaker, musician, historian, whatever, she always manages to extract the most significant facts along with several thought-provoking tales.   Right now my interview with her wouldn’t be that fascinating. “So you write books for teens?”  “Yep.”  “And I hear you can quote Bugs Bunny?” “Yep.”  “Great.  So … thanks for stopping by!”  But one of these days I will do something to merit being asked onto her show (this is me being all positive).

15.)  Okay, I’ll leave you with the weirdest one of all.  My childhood home was on a half-acre lot in an old section of Round Rock, Texas.  That’s not the weird part.  Stay with me.  The lot sloped down to a small creek and there was a large brushy section off in one direction.  Growing up, we ran into all sorts of wild animals:  foxes, coyotes, heron, owls, tortoises, water moccasins, frogs, possums, and … one animal we couldn’t identify.  It looked like a cross between a pig and a dog.  It had a blunted snout like a pig and had flesh-colored hide instead of fur.  But otherwise it looked and moved like a dog.  I was the first to see it, and for months everyone teased me relentlessly about seeing a “Pig-Dog.”  Then my sister saw it.  Then my dad.  Finally Mom saw it, too.  One day (my sis and I didn’t live there anymore at this point) Pig-Dog came and sat underneath one of the live oaks at the far end of our lot.  Dad called animal control and told them the “Pig-Dog” was there.  I’m sure they thought he was a nutcase until they showed up and saw it through the binoculars.  “What is it?” my dad asked.  “I have no idea,” the animal control officer said.  They tried to catch it, but he got away.  A year later my parents moved.  I have no idea what happened to Pig-Dog—he conveyed with the property—but I would love to someday figure out what he was.

So now I will spread this contagion to other (and I’m sure far less weird) blogger pals.  These are all people I want to get to know better:

Mike Guentzel at Guentzel.org

Debbi at One Writer’s Journey

Kim at One Over-Caffeinated Mom

Little Willow at Slayground

and the mild-mannered high school librarian at lit_mischief

Thanks for playing!